October 25, 2018
Pounce with her 'nose owie'
Hey y'all, it's me.
As you read a few days ago, the Redneck and I made the decision to not take the job offer and move out of state. We are both at peace with the decision, and thought we would just get back to our regular life, with no side effects from the past month.
However, this past week we have both been out of sync. We can't seem to get moving with projects we need to do, or making plans for the holidays. In fact, we have both been extremely disconnected from everything. We thought we might be getting sick.
Then Sunday night we realized that after weeks of thinking about what we should do about the job offer--do we take it, do we not, where could we move, where would we go to church, what about our animals, we would be leaving our family and friends, what's the cost of living there compared to here, what would we take, what do we leave behind, and on and on.
Every day for a month our lives revolved around this situation. We stayed up several nights talking until 2 or 3 am about what we should do, what our options were if we stayed, the pros and cons of either decision. Even when we weren't talking about it, we were always aware of it in the back of our minds, nudging us to make a decision. It was there when we woke up and when we went to bed. We were constantly focused on the subject for a month.
Then suddenly there was no more situation. The decision had been made, and we no longer had a focus. I didn't have to move to the next step of prepping and moving, setting up a new household, and beginning a new life. The pushing forward had simply STOPPED.
This feeling of numbness, of being disconnected, was from all the stress ending abruptly. We had unknowingly become addicted to the uncertainty, and now we have to get back into the simple act of living our lives from day to day.
Unlike regular crisis mode, where there's a gradual lessening of the stress, and you ease back into normality, this was just BOOM, IT'S OVER! So we are having to get used to living life without the pressure of extreme decision making, and just living.
That's harder than I thought it would be. But I know with prayer and persistence, we can do it.
Well, I got chores. Later y'all (now THAT'S normal!).
© Evelyn Edgett 2018