The Freedom Of 'Let Me Think About It' And The 'Gift Of No'

September 26, 2018

(A painting on one of the doors in downtown Bowie)

Hey y'all, it's me!

I just had to post the above photo of a door on one of the side streets here in Bowie. Doesn't she look like she's stepping out to go visiting? I don't know why she's there on a closed shop door, or who painted her, but she always makes me smile when I see her.

Okay, on to the subject of this post.

Every year our cowboy church puts on a fall festival out at the bunk house and the pavilion. It's a lot of fun. Many of us wear costumes (I really want to go as Georgie AFTER the clown bites his arm off this year). We all bring food, and most years we have a chili cook off (I haven't won yet--but this year I have high hopes). Of course, we have to have a haunted hayride. I live too far away to help with a lot of the preparation, but I do my best to help things run smoothly once it gets going.

This last Sunday after church, one of the women in charge of putting on the event called me over and said she wanted me to be a story teller for the evening, since we had never done that, and that I would be perfect for it, since I'm good at telling stories.

I could tell that she expected me to immediately say yes. 

I didn't.

Instead I told her I would have to think it over and would let her know next week,

She looked a tad disappointed that I didn't automatically jump on board with her idea, but she said okay. She still expected me to say yes.

I have decided that I won't be doing the story telling. With everything that is going on right now (the Redneck's trip to New Hampshire for a job interview, potential relocation from Texas, possibly having to sell this house, plus two funerals on Saturday--in two different towns. There is just a lot of unknowns in my life right now, and I don't need to add any more commitments.

Also, I'm saying no for the simple fact that I have absolutely no interest in the idea. When that happens I know that if I were to agree just to make her happy--it will be a disaster. I will resent doing it. Trust me, I've agreed to stuff before, only to find that while it made the person asking me happy, I was miserable. And that passed on to my family.

So I have learned over the years to simply say, "Let me think it over, and I will let you know." This gives me a chance to see if I really want to do something, or if I would be doing it just because I don't want to make someone mad at me. Most of the time I will end up doing it if it appeals to me and my schedule isn't too full.

But if I don't want to do it, it gives me breathing room to realize that.

I love the freedom that comes with being able to simply say 'no'. I actually give my friends the Gift Of No. This means that if I ask them for something or to do something for me, they have the right to simply say no. They don't need to explain why, or give me an excuse. People don't know what to do with this gift, since most people would demand to know why, and get angry about being turned down. 

I don't. I just need to know if they will do what I need, and if not--I move on to another option. Getting angry and demanding does nothing but cause stress. 

Ain't nobody got time for that.

So the Gift Of No is a gift for me also. 

Well, I got chores. Later y'all.
© Evelyn Edgett 2018


  1. Good for you. I probably use the gift of no too much. lol You would be good at telling the story, though.

    1. Thanks, but if I'm not interested in a project, it never turns out well.


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